Essentially change is to make different; to alter; transmute.

Change is supposed to be an accepted norm in this life. However, man the creature around whom so much changes, is still to a great extent afraid of change.

Change has been occurring in our lives even before we were cognizant of the fact.

At conception as soon as the egg is fertilized by the sperm, it begins to change by dividing.
Through gestation we change from the indefinable to a perfect human being, complete in varying degrees and at times with the ability to function on different levels.
Childhood through to adulthood we undergo numerous changes.
Why then is man such a creature of habit?



Types of Changes

Job or Career changes
Marital status eg separation or divorce.
Death of a loved one or bread winner.
Loss of Employment.
Illness or disease.
Move to a different township or country.
All the above constitute change.



Some reaction to change

Disbelief - It can't happen to me.
33Anger - Why me.
Withdrawal - I don't need your sympathy.
Self- doubt - I can't go on, can't do it.
Desperation - What am I going to do?
Let us take a cursory look at each of the above.

DISBELIEF

When change comes suddenly, often our primary reaction is usually disbelief. "It just can't he happening to me". The types of change that would possibly get such a reaction are:

The sudden death of a loved one.
The discovery of a spouse infidelity.
The discovery that you have a terminal illness etc.


ANGER

Why did this happen to me? The world is such a unkind place. "I am the only one going through this". We no doubt hear this every day.

The types of change that could possibly draw such a reaction are again:

The discovery of a terminal illness.
Disease, resulting in the loss of vital organs or body parts and function, resulting in total dependence on others and a drastic change in lifestyle.


WITHDRAWAL

Sometimes when we are faced with change e withdraw into our selves. I am not attempting to make change seem at all times negative. However, in most instances change is approached with much apprehension. We shun friends and family and refuse to communicate our fears and anxieties.

The types of change that could possibly cause this reaction are:

Physical change resulting from injury or surgery.
Change in one's social status, eg. The loss of a prestigious jog and all the fringes that go with it .Having to move from a upper income home to either sharing with family or living in a lower income area, etc.


SELF-DOUBT

"I won't be able to function in that capacity". This tends to suggest that the change is one of added responsibility. However, when an individual faces devastating financial loss he is forced to adjust his lifestyle accordingly. This reaction can also be observed when a wife who is totally ignorant of how the family finances are run, loss her husband either by way of death or divorce.

When this individual is faced with bills to pay and major decision to make, this may invoke self-doubt. Similarly, when a husband who is used to having his meal prepared, his laundry done, his salary budgeted and spent by his wife, loses this support, he is liable to experience self-doubt.



DESPEARTION

"What am I going to do?" This question is often asked when individuals thinks that their 'backs are against the wall'. This feeling can be a direct result of change. Change such as a job transfer which incorporates a promotion but which will adversely affect your family life can be quite despairing. You cannot quit your job, because you need the money, plus the added benefits, but your children may not be able to move with you. You may have additional bills to pay. eg accommodation, added travelling costs. Your wife/husband might have to get a car because you need to pick up the kids after school and so forth. Everything is in a whirl. " What am I going to do ". The response despair.

SOME COPING SUGGESTIONS

All of the aforementioned are inter-related and therefore the coping strategies are basically the same.

Don't panic. This only makes the thing or situation worse than the really are.
Do not dwell on the negative For every negative there are two or more positive to be gained from the experience.
Try to find and concentrate on the positive. This I know is easier said than done. However, positive thoughts come from positive people, So What? Milk comes from cows, you say. Yes, not every cow only those cows which are lactating. See the point.
Associate and integrate with positive and empathic individuals /groups
Do not wallow in self- pity. This is a quagmire from which you will/may never rise.
Do not be afraid to discuss the problem with the relevant authorities eg .your doctor, pastor, lawyer, boss, friend. Seek counselling and help from professionals in that discipline, It will help you cope
Weigh the pro and cons. What are the advantages of the change? Will I benefit from it. If it is a job situation, say, " Is this change meant to throw me of balance /" Maybe it is time for me to get a new job, career etc. Pull apart and analyze the change. Examine it from various angles. In short explore, all the possibilities
Finally

Draw from the inner strength with which all of us are blessed, mediate and pray. Observe and acknowledge the healing and teaching power of the Holy Spirit. Learn to genuinely cast you care on Him.

Pause for a while, trust God completely and et things fall in their right places .You then step in and follow suite

Try as we might to take credit for our many achievements, we have only pursued that which we have been allowed to so do.

Verna Lee Davis-Daly

I Ask for Health

That I Might do great Things

I was Given Infirmity

That I Might do Better Things